Exactly hours before writing this portion, I bumped to my ex in the train to work.
It was not the first time in years. But today I finally caught a glance of him since last year. But today was a different story.
It was unexpected and coincidence. I stole double glances just to be sure. Blood drain from my face when I knew it was definitely him with his gf/fiancee/wife. She looked like me. They alighted the same stop as I am. I was 10 meters away. Basically I was stalking them (her) curious of where they heading. They parted ways and she walked into the same lobby as I am!
I notice how he interact with his partner. There was no close proximity between them, so I guess he wasn’t married yet. Physically he changed in his pious way. As a person, who am I to judge. Does he look happy? I think so.
I will never intend to befriend my ex. It depends how the relationship ends. He left without a word. Stopped calling me, changed his number. Only to realise he cheated on me with other women. Yes, women in plural. I found suspicious texts from different girls on his mobile, days before he disappeared. What a jerk move. I was in confused and angry state for a very long time. I didn’t know what wrong have I done?
My fiancé is the only man who answered my curiosity. He left because he was ashamed for all the efforts I made for him and a coward to break the news in person. I supported him in finances and recommended him a job. Basically, I manage his problems while he simply took advantage of me for a year and expect highly of himself that I should bow to him. Ego much. He controlled my life with his jealous ways. I was verbally, emotionally and mentally abused. The coward end it by walking away.
Years later, I met my fiancé. A man who sees me as a equal and regain my laughter back. Today I found my answer. Without a doubt that man wasn’t meant for me and I was meant for my fiancé. Never start a relationship with a pity. It was never love to begin with.
“You can deny the reality and move on by dating again. But, it is about acceptance that makes you free from the past. 7 years and I finally realise why.”